Confused In Love
by crazyJBfan
Summary: Kayla Harris is a seventeen year old girl who is finally off to fame as she tours with the Jonas Brothers. What happens when she falls for Joe Jonas, but he doesn't feel the same? Will she find someone else? NOT CAMP ROCK RELATED! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Kayla smiled as she packed her suitcase. She was finally leaving home. Finally following her dream.

Her manager, Hick Rice, had finally made a deal for her to tour with someone. Kayla had wanted to be a singer ever since she was 8, and had recently met a man who volunteered to help her get on her way. He had been trying to find someone who would allow her to go on tour with them, because Kayla was new and needed some publicity before her first recording.

Hick and been looking for awhile now, but only just got the "ok" from someone. He had previously tried with several bands and single singers-including Hannah Montana-but none of them were willing to share the crowd. Hick finally found someone, who knew someone, who knew Kevin Jonas Sr. That's how Kayla ended up packing for her tour with the Jonas Brothers.

"Kayla! Can't you be quiet for five seconds?!" Kayla's dad, Gary, yelled from downstairs as she heard her banging around in her closet.

"Sorry, Dad!" she called.

"Be quiet!" he yelled at her. Kayla shook her head-half the time he got mad when she didn't reply, the other half he got mad when she did.

She stuffed her favorite outfits in her suitcase, and was about to close it to see how much more she could fit when the Jonas Brothers' song "Games" came on the radio.

"Here I come, Jonas Brothers! Kayla Harris is on the way!" Kayla whispered to herself so as not to disturb her dad.

She had always been a big fan of the Jonas Brothers, and couldn't believe they were the ones that had ended up letting her on tour with them.

Kayla looked at her Jonas Brothers poster wondering what her parents would do with it after she left. _Probably just through it away…with the rest of my stuff I'll be leaving behind…_Kayla looked around the room at her things, knowing she couldn't take all her things with her.

"That's just the way it's got to be, now, isn't it, Joe?" Kayla said looking back at her poster talking to her favorite Jonas Brother. She sighed and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Do you like brunettes, Joe?" Kayla whispered and she looked at her long, wavy brown hair. "How about blue eyed girls?" she asked referring to her very clear blue eyes.

She shrugged. What did it matter anyways? He probably has a girlfriend already.

"Dinner, Kayla!" Kayla's mom called in a harsh voice.

"Be there in a sec!" Kayla called cheerfully.

"Get down here NOW!" her mom, Lisa, demanded. Kayla flinched realizing her mistake, and tried to make amends.

"Coming right this minute!" She called running down the stairs as fast as possible. She stopped short at the bottom of the steps. Kayla hated the sight before her.Her dad was sitting on the couch with a cigarette in his mouth and an empty beer bottle in his hand.

She turned her attention to her mom who didn't look much better-except that she wasn't smoking at the moment- she wasn't drinking either, but had a cold beer in her place at the table.

Kayla took her place at the table with a sigh._ I'll be far away from this soon-thankfully…_

Gary turned the TV off and sat down at the table at the same time Lisa did. Kayla looked at the food with dismay- burgers from Burger King, chips, fries, and a few other cheap foods. It was a wonder that Kayla was very thin with the way she was fed.

Kayla starting eating in silence thinking about her upcoming trip. She was half done with her food when her father spoke.

"Get me a drink." Gary demanded Kayla. When she didn't respond because of her daydreaming, he got angry.

Kayla felt a sharp pain in her right leg as her father kicked her mercilessly. "What was that for?" she asked wincing, but very angry.

"I told you to do something. Get me a drink." Gary demanded while Lisa looked on with a bored look. Kayla stood up quickly at his threatening tone. She returned from the kitchen a moment later with beer in her hand.

"Here." Kayla said shortly as she put it on the table, but set it down a little hard, making the bottle tip over spilling its contents over her father quickly. Gary stood up in surprise, but rage soon filled his face.

"Blast it, girl!" he yelled hitting her arm harshly. "Look what you did, you-"

"I didn't mean to!" Kayla yelled defensively through her tears.

"You always screw things up you little-"Gary's voice faded as Kayla ran up to her room getting hit again in the process.

She entered her room and slammed the door. Locking the door, Kayla collapsed onto her bed crying from the pain and anger. _Why does he have to be like that? Why? _Kayla drifted off to sleep shortly after.

_"Great job, Kayla!" Gary called as the young girl showed her father her report card proudly._

_"I did it, Daddy! All really good grades!" The eight year old Kayla said doing a little dance with happiness._

_"Why don't you go show your mommy?" Gary suggested taking the girl's hand gently._

The memories filled Kayla's head as she drifted in and out of sleep.

_"Let's go out for ice cream!" Kayla suggested as she walked down the street with her mom and dad._

_"I don't know if you deserve ice cream…" Lisa said thoughtfully._

_"Why not, Mommy?" Kayla asked with such big eyes that only an eight year old could pull off._

_"Because you're so little." Gary said putting his hand on her head to show her how much smaller she was then them._

_"Oh…" Kayla said quietly, her face falling. She screamed with glee as her father swept her up easily and placed her on his shoulders._

_"Now, that's better!" Lisa said with a laugh as they all headed for the ice cream shop._

A few years later everything changed…

_Thirteen year old Kayla heard her dad get home that evening and went to greet him knowing he would give her a bear hug and wet kiss._

_When she reached the living room she was surprised to find him sitting on the couch watching TV._

_"Daddy?" Kayla asked quietly. When he didn't respond she realized he was in one of his little grumpy moods, but didn't care-she always knew just how to cheer him up. Whenever he got like that she would run up to him and smother him in hugs and he would soon become cheerful again and start tickling her._

_Kayla ran up and landed on the couch next to him and gave him a big, tight bear hug._

_"Get off!" Gary yelled striking his daughter. Kayla drew back quickly not knowing what to think._

_"What's wrong, Daddy?" she said trying not to cry from the pain he had just caused her._

_"I just want to be alone." He said. Kayla relaxed at the words he said-they were familiar. She knew that was her cue to kiss him on the cheek and leave quietly._

_"Okay, Daddy." Kayla said softly and kissed him on the cheek. Gary immediately hit her again. _

_"I said to get off!" he yelled furious. Kayla ran to her room and shut the door in fear._

_"What wrong with Daddy?" she asked herself quietly. "He smelled funny, and was acting strange…"_

Kayla woke up the next morning and groaned. She had slept in her clothes and wasn't very happy about the fact.

"I have to make sure not to make this a habit." Kayla said. Her phone rang and she answered it fighting back a yawn.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kayla this is Hick. I hope you're ready to leave, because your flight is going to be earlier than planned."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kayla rushed around getting her things together, and hoping she wouldn't leave anything important behind.

_What will I tell mom and dad?_ Kayla worried not knowing if they would let her go. She had told them about the tour, and they just waved it off carelessly. What she hadn't told them was how soon it was, and now she would be telling them as she left.

She dragged her suitcase down the stairs as quietly as possible not wanting to wake her parents if they were still sleeping. Kayla set her suitcase on the porch, and went back inside to prepare herself.

After a hot shower Kayla dressed in skinny jeans and nice fitting green shirt, and pulled on her sneakers. She put in some bright earrings and her Jonas Brother guitar pick necklace.

When she had grabbed her purse she headed downstairs trying to figure out what to say to her parents.

"Where are you going?" Gary asked from his spot on the couch. Kayla coughed at the smoke from his cigarette-thankfully she stayed in her room most of the time so wasn't used to the smoke.

"I'm going on the tour that I told you about…" Kayla said warily. "Remember?"

"How long will you be gone?" he asked not taking his eyes off the TV.

"Uh…I don't know…Dad, tours are long things. It's a career." Kayla said trying to get him to understand. He stood up abruptly with a scowl.

"Did we give you permission to go?" he demanded.

"Yes." Kayla replied firmly. _Or they didn't say I couldn't…_ Gary was raising his hand to strike his daughter when the doorbell rang. Kayla took that moment to escape and answered the door to see Hick standing there.

"Ready to go?" he asked hurriedly.

"Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." Kayla replied running up the stairs. When she reached her room she took a few pictures of the room with her digital camera, half happy to be leaving the familiar place.

When she returned downstairs her father was waiting for her with a furious glare.

"You shouldn't have agreed to go on this…useless tour without permission." He said.

"I'm going to be a singer, Dad, just like I've always wanted." Kayla said confidently.

"You'll just end up a failure." Gary's stinging words came quickly. "You'll be no good, and no one will like your singing."  
"Goodbye, Dad." Kayla said coldly wishing she hadn't said anything about singing.

Gary shook his head and kicked Kayla very hard as she went out. "You disrespectful, idiot child!" he called after her as she fled the house. "Good riddance! Who'd want you around anyways? You're nothing important. You're useless!"

Kayla's eyes stung as she fought back tears from the painful words. No matter how many threats he threw at her, she couldn't just shake them off-they always came back to haunt her.

Kayla got in the car in silence and looked out to see the grubby house, and her father standing on the porch looking furious. As her leg ached she took deep breathes to help calm herself down. She would now have more bruises to add to her already abundant collection.

Kayla felt the anger well up inside her. _I will never go back. Even if I become a failure and have to live in a dumpster I would be better off then at home. Never will I go back. __Never__._

The flight was long, but peaceful. Kayla slept part of the way and felt more free then she could ever remember feeling before. Whenever someone would walk by she almost flinched by habit, knowing that if it were her father, and sometimes her mother, she wouldn't be passed without some sort of pain and a retort of some kind.

The plain landed bumpily, and Kayla was soon in another car on her way to where she would meet the Jonas Brothers after their concert.

She became fidgety when she was informed the brothers were performing the last song of the night. She could hear them singing "When You Look Me in the Eyes" and knew that they would be joining her soon when she heard the song end.

Kayla was in a small sitting room that had drinks and refreshments for the performers, and two sofas. She drank a little bit of water, and started pacing until she heard the Jonas Brothers' voices from behind the other door.

The boys were talking, but became quiet right before entering the room. In came Nick, Kevin and Joe.

Kayla looked at each of them as they introduced themselves, even though she knew them each. She introduced herself after a moment, and tried to calm down and not act nervous.

"Excited about the tour?" Kevin asked to break the silence.

"Yeah, I can't wait." Kayla replied with a smile.

"We are going to Virginia tomorrow." Joe said smiling.

"I've never been to Virginia before." Kayla said trying to make conversation, and trying not to stare at Joe.

"Where are you from?" Nick asked.

"Pennsylvania. This is my first time leaving the state."

"Wow, so you like, never traveled before?' Joe asked with surprise.

"Nope." Kayla said.

"Well I hope you like it, because that's what touring is all about." Kevin said with a smile.

They chatted for a few minutes about things about themselves before the managers came in and started talking them through what would be happening the next day. Kayla found that she would be having a tour bus, courtesy of the Jonas Brothers' "people", all to herself.

After having dinner with the Jonas brothers and a few of the people that worked for the boys, the brothers decided to show Kayla her bus before turning in for the night.

Kayla was surprised at the nice tour bus she would be staying in. It had four bunks, a kitchen area, bathroom and little activity room at the back. She became even more excited when the brothers said things about her singing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kayla sat up quickly from her bad dream, which resulted in a very large pain in her head. It took a moment for her to remember where she was, but when she did a surge of excitement flooded through her.

She was in her own tour bus on her way to Virginia where her first performance would be. Kayla showered and dressed in skinny jeans- her favorite kind of pants, black tee, and denim jacket. She tried to push her nightmare, about being a failure and having to return home, out of her head as she pulled her cowboy boots on.

After examining herself in the mirror, she exited the bus a bit nervous about what the day would hold. When she saw Joe coming toward her, she brushed her long bangs out of her face with a smile. _I'm bound to make a fool of myself._

"Sleep good?" Joe asked with his hand in his pockets.

"Very good, actually." Kayla said, "I usually sleep well away from home."

"Really? I thought it was normal to sleep worse in a new place." Joe said distracted as he saw his brothers coming their way.

_Not if the new place is an improvement. I definitely like sleeping under a different roof then my parents._

Kevin told Kayla that she needed to practice her performing on the stage before the concert that evening, and she immediately felt nervous. _Oh, boy…my first audience will be the Jonas Brothers…how encouraging! _

The practice wasn't as bad as Kayla expected-she didn't fall down or suddenly start singing squeakily. The only mistake she made was missing a couple words in the lyrics, which she knew she shouldn't feel so bad about except that it was a song she had sung several times before.

"That was good." Nick said encouraging when Kayla admitted her mistake. "You've got a great voice."

"Thanks" Kayla said blushing at the complement.

"He's right-how many 16 year old girls do you know with a voice like that?" Joe stated.

"Actually…I'm 17." Kayla said.

"Oh, sorry." Joe said and Kayla laughed with a shrug.

"You always were bad at guessing ages." Kevin said hitting Joe playfully on the head. Joe put on a hurt look and his head dropped as his brothers rolled their eyes.

Kayla was trying to relax as she heard her cue to get onto stage and perform her opening song for the Jonas Brother's concert.

_You'll just end up a failure! _Kayla's father's voice echoed in her head discouragingly. The words seemed to be branded before her eyes as she briskly walked onto the stage with the beginning of the music. She sang her song without concentrating and felt much better when it was over. Kayla fully enjoyed her time on the stage, but her father's nagging voice was always present in the back of her mind.

Kayla was supposed to sing for the beginning of the end. She stood on stage to perform the second to last song, smiling widely as the mist began to thin and the crowd cheered.

After her performance the Jonas Brother's sang "When You Look Me in the Eyes".

"Great job, guys-as usual." Kayla said as they came up to her a few minutes after the end.

"I know, didn't I do great?" Joe said pretending to act really stuck up. Kayla stuck her tongue out at him as Nick protested.

"Actually, I think the one here to be congratulated is Kayla." Kevin said catching Kayla by surprise. Joe looked thoughtful, but then nodded in defeat.

"Thanks guys. I wish I could share your confidence." Kayla said, her father's words flashing back into her mind again.

Kayla hung out with the guys through the afternoon, and had dinner with them.

"Where's the next concert?" Kayla asked taking a bite of her pizza. They were all in the boys' bus eating pizza and just hanging out.

"I think we're going to Georgia next." Nick said thoughtfully. "Our concert will be the day after tomorrow."

"Yeah! Three days after that we're going to perform big!" Joe exclaimed excited and jumped up from his spot on the floor. "Dj Danja is going big!"

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked wondering what he meant by that.

"He's talking about the big concert in New York City." Kevin explained as Joe proceeded to nod vigorously and flop onto the couch. "We're performing with Miley Cyrus and Ashley Tisdale."

"Are you serious?" Kayla asked shocked she would be performing with them. "Miley Cyrus's 'people' wouldn't let me tour with them."

Kevin shrugged as he pushed his empty plate away. "They want us there, and you're with us."

Kayla was both nervous and excited at the news. Joe began going on and on about some fight that might take place about whether or not Kayla would be able to perform, but she wasn't listening but wondering what it would be like.

"Then! Kevin will grab Billy Ray by the shirt and-" Joe's excited voice was cut off by Nick.

"Whoa! Hold on-there is no way Kevin can take on Billy Ray!" Nick said with mock seriousness.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kevin asked pretending to be offended. Kayla laughed as the conversation ended up in a Jonas Brother fight.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Ready for the big concert?" Joe asked from behind making Kayla jump.

"I thought the 'big concert' was the one in New York?" Kayla said turning to face Joe. She couldn't help but notice how good he looked in his white suit he liked to wear for the concerts.

"Maybe that's the one I was talking about." Joe said defensively.

"In that case," Kayla replied with a laugh, "No, but I'm ready for tonight's concert. At least I hope I am."

"You'll do fine." Joe said encouragingly.

"Whatever." Kayla said beginning to feel nervous, and unsure of herself. Joe shook his head, and smiled.

"Silly Kayla needs more confidence in herself." Joe teased lightly.

_That wouldn't be very hard if you weren't standing right next to me! _Kayla thought and took a couple steps away and leaned against the wall.

"Kayla, you're on in five!" a voice called and she felt a knot in her stomach.

"You're scared of me." Joe said suddenly. Confused, Kayla said one word.

"What?"

"You're scared of me." Joe repeated himself, and Kayla laughed.

"What makes you think that?" she asked wondering if the conversation would end up crazy like the Kevin versus Billy Ray one did.

"Because." Joe said simply. "For one example you move away when I stand next to you."

His words surprised Kayla, and made her nervous. _Do I really, or is he making it up?_ She looked at him thoughtfully._ For once he seems serious…_

"Maybe I just don't like standing next to people." Kayla replied knowing she should have come up with a better remark.

"People don't usually care as much as you seem to." Joe replied quickly.

"Maybe I don't like standing next to people as crazy as you." Kayla said thankful she could come up with a response.

"You should be honored to be able to be so near _the _Joe Jonas." He said. Kayla laughed slightly, still a little nervous.

"What makes you think I'd care,_ hot shot_?" Kayla questioned with a small laugh.

"Oh, now I see. You think I'm _hot_." Joe said triumphantly, and Kayla put on a fake smile. _Well you are, but I'm not about to say so. _Kaylathought trying to come up with a reply.

"You're on in two, Kayla!" the voice called again.

"That's what _you_ think." Kayla said with a smirk.

"That _is _what I think." Joe said taking a step closer to Kayla. She immediately tried to take a step back to widen their distance, but Joe's words stopped her. "_See?_ You're moving away again."

Kayla didn't know how to respond, but froze in her tracks as Joe took another step. The space between them seemed very small and Kayla still didn't know what to say.

"You can run away if you want to." Joe said with a smirk, inches from Kayla. She couldn't move even if she tried, and felt frozen not knowing what to do. "But then, maybe you don't really want to…" Joe leaned over slightly, and Kayla's heart sped up. Their lips were inches away when Kayla heard the voice call saying she needed to get on stage. The two froze, they were almost kissing and Kayla wished she had the nerve to meet his lips.

_But I don't. _Kayla thought, backing up quickly. She saw Joe smile gently at her and she smiled back shyly before briskly walking away.

Kayla felt that her performance was better, and she put more feeling into it. After the concert she felt as though she were floating as she went to her bus and went to sleep. Her dreams were filled with Joe Jonas.

Kayla woke up the morning before the "big concert" with her dream in mind. She had dreamt that Joe asked her to be his girlfriend, and she had, of course, accepted immediately.

As she showered, put on her skinny jeans and a loose tee shirt, she hummed Inseparable to herself thinking about Joe. She couldn't help but wonder if Joe had thought about her as much as she had him the past couple days of travel. She, surprisingly, hadn't spent much time with the brothers during their travel, but spent a lot of time practicing her singing, going over the lyrics and day dreaming about Joe Jonas.

Kayla was very relieved when she could step off the bus that morning. She met up with the Jonas brothers at their bus, and they told her their schedule for the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kayla felt nervous the couple hours before the concert. She thought she would be used to performing after two concerts, but was informed by Nick that the nervousness never wore off completely.

Kayla was excited when she got to meet Ashley Tisdale and Miley Cyrus. Both of them seemed like friendly enough people, but Kayla privately preferred Ashley. Miley didn't seem very happy when she was informed that Kayla would have the opening song.

Kayla's nervousness increased with the first few minutes before her song. She had successfully pushed her father's disturbing words out of her mind as she sang her favorite song "Alone Time".

After the concert all the performers had a meet and greet, then they all wandered off.

Kayla walked down the backstage hall, but sopped when she heard Joe's voice. She opened the door to the room she heard him in, and stopped in her tracks. Joe was talking to Ashley quietly so Kayla couldn't hear what he was saying, but she knew he was flirting with her.

She had been previously informed about Joe's liking Ashley for some time, but Kayla hadn't realized that he still did. She listened carefully when she heard her name.

"When you and your brothers first arrived I had the notion that you were interested in Kayla Harris." Ashley said questioningly, and Kayla strained to hear Joe's response.

"Nah. You got the wrong idea." Joe said "She's nothing important."

Kayla went rigid at his words. The same parting words that her father had spoken as she left. Tears began to sting her eyes as she walked quickly down the hall and exited the building. She thought Joe had felt something for her-thought he had actually liked her.

_What a fool I've been. Of course Joe's not interested in me- I'm nothing. I don't stand a chance against the pretty, blond Ashley Tisdale. _Kayla wiped a tear from her cheek as she walked blindly through the private parking lot. _I really am an "idiot child" for believing I actually had a chance with Joe._

"Kayla, what's wrong?" a concerned voice broke Kayla from her thoughts. She shook her head not wanting to talk and entered her bus, which she had ended up next to. She let the tears pour once she had privacy and threw herself on her bunk.

_I really cared for him. He is such a great, caring guy…and I fell for him. Hard. _Kayla thought. _Too hard apparently, because I hurt myself as I fell!_

She stopped her bitter thoughts as she heard the door to her bus open and close gently.

"Kayla?" Kevin's soft voice called. She heard him approach her bunk, but she didn't roll over to face him. She didn't want to talk. "Are you okay?"

"Go away." Kayla said flatly. "I don't want to talk."

"What happened?" Kevin asked in a kind voice. Kayla remained silent hoping he would give up and leave. She waited for what seemed like minutes before realizing that he wasn't going to give up.

"I just had a…disappointment." Kayla said knowing she didn't want to admit that she had fallen for _the_ Joe Jonas-she especially didn't want to tell his own brother!

"Will you tell me about it?" Kevin asked. "Maybe you'll feel better."

"I won't." Kayla said. "I'll probably feel worse."

"Is it really that bad?" Kevin asked. When she didn't respond he continued. "C'mon. I'm a big brother-I can handle anything." He joked.

Kayla hesitated before rolling to face him. _If I was to tell him, how would I go about explaining the situation? "I fell for your brother, now I feel like a moron because he likes some hot girl instead of dumb me." Yeah right! Should I tell him?_

Kayla slipped of her bunk and sat on the ground, and Kevin sat next to her.

"I just…really liked…" Kayla started but stopped when she felt like an idiot. _What kind of person tells her boy problems to a boy?_

"A guy?" Kevin inquired quietly. _Man! He's good! Great…now what?_

She ran her hand through her soft hair thoughtfully. "Yeah…"

"You going to tell me who?" he asked with a smile.

"The same person that about 3 million other girls are crazy about." She replied softly, looking away.

"Oh." Kevin said shortly. "Joe?"

Kayla felt more embarrassed that she could ever remember as she nodded in answer. _This is awkward…_

"I don't know how I thought he liked me in the first place." Kayla said bitterly more to herself than Kevin.

"What made you think he did?" Kevin asked, and then quickly added. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." Kayla blushed and tried to calm her nervous self.

"We…we kind of…almost " Kayla hesitated "We almost kissed."

"Ah…" Kevin said shortly before falling silent. Kayla looked down at her lap, thankful that her hair covered her face at the moment.

"I can't believe I let myself think that." Kayla whispered bitterly. "I'm so stupid."

"Hey!" Kevin said sternly. "Don't say that."

"Whatever." Kayla said knowing she said that whenever she didn't want to respond to someone.

"You shouldn't think that." Kevin said. "It won't help build any confidence in yourself."

"Yeah, right. Maybe if I had any confidence in myself I would listen to you." Kayla said still not looking at Kevin.

"If you don't, then you need to get some." He said thoughtfully. "You'll need it when you get on stage." He paused then added trying not to laugh. "And next time you see Joe."

Kayla blushed and looked at Kevin. "It's not funny." She said then smiled. "But you're right."

"I know I am-I'm a big brother, I'm always right!" Kevin said pretending to be proud, but Kayla playfully punched him on the arm telling him he was conceited.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kayla felt uncomfortable around Joe that evening at dinner. They had eaten out and Ashley had come along-after Joe invited her. When they returned to the busses, Terri noticed that she had ended up alone. Kevin went to talk to his dad, Nick went off to fiddle with his guitar, and Joe had just disappeared…with Ashley.

Kayla sighed as she stood in the brother's tour bus. She had come in with Nick, but didn't mind when he had said he was going to play his guitar. She stood by herself for a moment before walking to the end of the bus figuring she might as well watch TV.

She was about to push the activity room's door open when she heard soft voices. Peeking into the room, Kayla saw Joe sitting on the couch with Ashley. She tried not to gasp when she saw Joe lean over and kiss Ashley gently. It was a quick kiss, but Kayla still felt hurt.

_How can he go from girl to girl so quickly?_

Kayla felt the hurt well up inside her again as Joe's and her father's words blinked across her mind. She calmly exited the bus and walked through the parking lot, not really paying attention to where she was headed. She walked taking deep breathes and clenched her fists tightly. After a moment Kayla felt she couldn't contain herself any longer as the tears began to stream down her face.

Kayla started walking briskly through the parking lot blinded from her tears. She wanted to scream, to kick something, but all she did was walk and cry. After moment Kayla began to run, and enjoyed the cool wind on her wet face.

It was dark, and Kayla couldn't see well from her crying. Before she knew what was happening, Kayla tripped. Gasping as she began to fall, she felt someone catch her before she hit the ground.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Kayla couldn't stop her tears as she nodded and leaned against the warm chest. She felt the comforting arms wrap around her and Kayla wondered for a moment whose arms she was in, but decided she didn't care at the moment.

"Kayla," _Well, it's someone who knows me. _"What happened?"

She looked up and the person she was hugging and could barely make out his outline in the dark. _Kevin. _Realizing where she was, Kayla stood up straight, glad that the darkness hid her blushing.

"Nothing." She said wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"Something obviously happened to make you cry." Kevin said quietly. After a moment he continued, "You've already told me some pretty secret stuff-might as well spill"

Kayla realized he was right-she _had _already told him about Joe. Kevin already knew how she felt, and she felt embarrassed all over again. _He's going to think I'm stupid for acting so dramatic._

_"_I just…saw…" Kayla began as Kevin's hands released her "JoekissAshley" Kayla finished in a rush.

"Kayla…" Kevin's voice said before he became silent. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I should have known this would happen."

"It does matter." Kevin said caringly putting his hand on her shoulder gently, and Kayla almost jumped at the touch.

"No it doesn't._ I_ don't matter." Kayla said letting all her feelings rush out without a thought. "I'm nothing. No one cares-no one ever will. Why would they? I'm not worth the trouble."

Kevin's shocked voice replied right away. "Of course you matter."

She shook her head in anger and sadness. What she had just said was what she believed. No one could care for her. Her own parents didn't, so why should anyone else?

"You're a special person, Kayla" Kevin said quietly. "If only you could see that…. If only Joe could see that."

"Yeah, real special." Kayla said bitterly sarcastic. "That's why not once in my life has a guy-or anyone else for that matter-ever cared for me!"

"I'm sure plenty of people-including the guys-have. Maybe you just didn't see it."

"Whatever, Kevin." Kayla said, "I'll believe you when I receive my first kiss-assuming some day I will. Which is highly unlikely."

"I don't believe it." Kevin said after a moment of silence.

"Don't believe what?" Kayla asked turning around-she had begun to leave. Kevin didn't make her feel any better; in fact, he made her feel worse by remembering that no one cared.

"You've never kissed a guy before?" Kevin asked.

"No." Kayla said wishing she hadn't said anything. "No guy would ever want to kiss me anyways." She said firmly and began to walk away. After a moment Kayla heard Kevin's footsteps-his boots made it quite obvious he was near.

They both remained silent as they headed back to the bus, each absorbed in their own thoughts. When Kayla had reached her bus, she turned to say goodnight to Kevin. She was surprised as he pulled her into a firm hug.

"Someday the right guy will come along." Kevin's voice whispered in her ear. "Until then, I'm here for you." He finished in a brotherly tone. Kevin released her, and walked away.

Kayla watched him disappear into the darkness before turning and entering her quiet bus. She prepared for bed thinking about what Kevin said. _Will a guy come along for me? I sure hope so…_

"Unfortunately it doesn't look like Joe is that guy…" Kayla said to herself as she drifted off to sleep, encouraged by Kevin's words.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kayla's self confidence grew slightly over the next couple days of travel. She avoided Joe, and kept to herself most of the time. She didn't want Kevin to think she was helpless, and needed his pep talks every second of the day so socialized for short periods of time.

"Ready for the concert?" Kevin asked as Kayla approached the Jonas brothers only moments before her entry.

"I guess so…" Kayla said unsure of herself. "Are you guys hyped?" she said purposefully changing the subject from herself.

"I'm ready to go!" Joe said jumping up and down in example. Kayla smiled slightly wishing Joe knew how she felt about him. Someone called Kevin to talk about some concert-concerning matter, and Nick excused himself to get a drink of water.

"So…you've been absent lately…" Joe said after a moment. Kayla shrugged trying to appear uncaring.

"I've been busy." She said casually. Kayla was surprised he even noticed, since he was spending so much time with Ashley. That day's concert was the second to last they would be performing with Ashley Tisdale, and Kayla was relieved.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Joe asked seriously. Kayla instantly felt nervous not knowing what to say.

"Partially." She said shortly not wanting to lie.

"How come?" Joe asked.

"I have my reasons…" Kayla replied getting annoyed; it seemed Joe was getting a little nosy.

"Are you mad at me?" Joe asked raising his eyebrows.

"You tell me, Joe."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joe asked impatiently.

"I mean-if you weren't so busy with _Ashley _you might actually understand some things." Kayla said upset that he didn't even notice until just now that she wasn't the happiest with him.

"Are you saying you're jealous?" Joe asked folding his arms.

"I didn't say that." She replied defensively.

"You should be." Joe said playfully with a slight smirk.

"You're so conceited." Kayla mumbled under her breath.

"You're so…" Joe began thoughtfully.

"What? Boring? Plain? Am I '_nothing important'?" _Kayla said angry.

"I didn't say that!" Joe said stunned.

"You did before."

"When?" Joe asked surprised.

"The other night when you were talking to Ashley." Kayla stated.

"You listened in on my conversation!" Joe said sounding slightly annoyed.

"Well _you _said rude things behind my back!" Kayla snapped. "Did you mean it, Joe? Or were you lying?

Joe looked at Kayla stunned. He had no idea she had heard him say those things about her. He hadn't meant for it to sound so mean. The words had come out wrong, and now Kayla was fuming and-unknown to Joe-hurting.

"Well?" Kayla asked trying not to cry.

"Kayla. I didn't lie, but I didn't mean-" Joe began unsure of how to explain.

"Save it, Joe." Kayla said, and right after the words were out of her mouth she heard her cue to get on stage and sing the opening song. She was supposed to sing one of the Jonas Brothers' songs for the opening.

Kayla entered the stage leaving a stunned Joe behind.

_Take my hand tonight_

_We can run so far…_Kayla felt tears brimming, and fought against the ill will feeling she had. Her father's words suddenly flashed in her mind.

_We can change the world_

_to anything we want_

_**Who'd want you around anyways? You're nothing important. You're useless**_!

Kayla continued her song, and had just begun the second verse when Joe's voice came into her head.

_**She's nothing important…**_

She suddenly froze. No words left her mouth, and the world seemed to be in slow motion for a split second. Before she knew what she was doing, she ran off the stage tears streaming down her face. Kayla ran full speed for her bus-she didn't want to be pursued.

Kayla entered her bus and locked the door behind her before kicking the wall of the bus harshly.

The cruel words that her father and Joe had said were still branded on her mind. She couldn't escape them, and began to feel sick.

_Will I ever be something important? Will someone think I'm special someday?_

Kayla felt the questions would be answered with a negative. Her crying was finally subsiding slightly when someone knocked on her door. Ignoring it at first, Kayla tried to stop crying, but the knocking continued and eventually turned into banging.

"Go away!" Kayla screamed furious at herself and everyone in the world at the moment. "Go _away_!" she repeated when the banging continued. Kayla was surprised to hear the noise stop abruptly.

"Kayla?" Joe's voice called through the door. "Can you let me in?"

"Leave me alone." Kayla said in response. She didn't feel like talking-to anyone. She felt so low-lower then she ever remembered feeling before. Lower than when her father first hit her. Lower than when she did after finding out her mom had followed her husband's habits.

_Lower than low. Lower than dirt. Lower than the lowest thing on the earth!_

_"_Can't you just let me in, please?" Joe pleaded. "I…I want to apologize….and explain."

Kayla didn't respond. Her mind was blank, and she was starring at the wall in front of her. She stood with her forehead against the wall, and her mind had drawn a blank.

"Kayla?" Joe's soft voice called. Kayla didn't respond, but stood in silence. She felt that she would never be cheerful again, and no one could make her feel better.

After a few minutes of calling to Kayla, Joe left. She let out a sigh of relief knowing he had probably needed to perform his concert.

Kayla took a very hot shower before putting on shorts and a tank top, and crashing into bed with a sigh. She cried herself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kayla woke up to knocking on the bus door. She sat up with a sigh, and felt the dry tears on her face. The knocking didn't sound urgent, so she splashed her face in cold water and looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't look too bad; in fact, you couldn't really tell she had been crying except for the fact that her face was slightly pink.

Kayla walked to the door stretching her arms in on the way. When she reached the door she sighed.

"What?" she asked flatly through the door. She didn't feel like opening it and talking to whomever.

"Kayla?" Kevin's voice said. "We're leaving soon."

"Okay." Kayla said and turned to walk back toward her bunk.

"Hey!" Kevin's voice called. "Are you going to let me in?" She stood pondering the situation. She really didn't feel like talking to anyone, and still felt horrible. Kayla also noted that she was embarrassed about the episode she had-running off the stage wasn't exactly unnoticeable-the media would a have a field day.

"Do I have to?" Kayla asked softly with a sigh.

"Of…of course not." Kevin said sounding hurt. "But I think you would feel better after talking to someone."

"I doubt it." Kayla said unprepared to let Kevin in.

"You never know." Kevin encouraged. Kayla leaned on the door with her hand on the doorknob debating what to do. She knew Kevin really wanted to help, but she didn't want to have to talk.

Kayla ended up unlocking the door, but not opening. She figured Kevin would get the message. She turned to walk away, and heard Kevin enter.

"Where're you going?" he asked.

"To get dressed." Kayla tossed over her shoulder. "And probably take a shower." She added, not feeling like being gracious by not making him wait. She knew she just took a shower, but felt she could use another.

Kevin didn't argue or protest at having to wait, but remained silent. It didn't take long for Kayla to take a shower-she began to feel a little guilty about making Kevin wait- pull on some grey skinny jeans, and a green tee shirt.

She approached Kevin somewhat nervously. He turned to face her and she saw the pity in his eyes. She ran her hand through her still wet-but brushed-hair.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked gently. Kayla simply shrugged and didn't look him in the eyes. "What happened out there?"

Kayla knew the question would pop up shortly, but still didn't want to answer it. "Emotional breakdown…or something…" she whispered hugging herself.

"What caused it?" Kevin asked looking at her steadily with a brotherly care.

"Hah…Joe." Kayla said feeling embarrassed. "We kinda had an argument…I let it slip that I heard him saying I was…nothing important."

"What did he say?" Kevin asked. "I tried to talk to him after the concert, but he's avoiding everyone."

"He said…" Kayla began thankful she had used all her tears earlier. "He said that it wasn't a lie-it was true."

"He said that?" Kevin asked stunned. Kayla nodded looking at the ground, and ran her hand through her hair again. "Kayla…I'm sorry…that must've hurt."

"It did." Kayla choked out. Kevin pulled her into a hug, and she returned it with a sigh.

"I feel bad for you." Kevin said and Kayla looked up at him. "I wish I could take the hurt away."

Kayla stared into his eyes, and replayed the words in her mind. _He really cares. What a great big brother._

"If there was anything I could do…" Kevin said tightening his grip, and Kayla couldn't take her eyes away. Kayla saw him look at her with care, and she suddenly felt very happy. Someone actually cared about her.

"I wish there was a way you could." Kayla replied, realizing their faces were a little closer.

"Me too…" Kevin said his face getting closer still. Kayla felt his warm breath on her face, and was very aware of their closeness. She couldn't help but look at his lips wondering if she could maybe be _that _lucky. Kevin's warm breath strangely made Kayla move her face slightly closer, her heart racing. Their lips met, barely at first, but Kevin leaned in a little more, and Kayla closed her eyes, fully enjoying the moment.

_My first kiss! My first kiss is shared with…Kevin Jonas?_

Kayla and Kevin seemed to both come back to reality at the same moment, and both jerked away quite suddenly. Kayla felt her face burning, and saw Kevin's face quite pink also.

"Sorry." Kayla said quickly, blushing more.

"Yeah…sorry." Kevin said seeming at loss for words. An awkward moment began to settle, and Kevin left after mumbling something about needing to get back to his bus.

Kayla stood stunned at what had just occurred. She had just kissed _the _Kevin Jonas! Strangely enough, Kayla realized that in that short moment, Kevin had taken the hurt away just like they had both wanted.

"Oh.My.Word." Kayla said to herself as she realized the impact of the occurrence. "I'm only 17…and he's 20! What did I just do?!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_"Oh.My.Word." Kayla said to herself as she realized the impact of the occurrence. "I'm only 17…and he's 20! What did I just do?!"_

Kayla stood in shock for a moment. "I just kissed Kevin! I hope he isn't mad at me. Wait…he kissed back. He started it. Kinda…" Kayla stood talking to herself still not able to get over what just happened

Moments later, Kayla still stood on the bus as it started to move. They were on the road again. Something dawned on Kayla a she stood there. _Now things will be awkward between me and two of the Jonas Brothers!_

She unexpectedly smiled to herself, and put her fingers to her lips with a sigh. _That was great, though._

Kayla woke up two mornings later feeling more nervous than ever, and couldn't stand the thought of facing the Jonas brothers-or two of them at least. She groaned as she dressed in jeans and a t-shirt trying to convince herself that she didn't care how she looked. She failed to convince herself though, as she put in her favorite earrings.

Moments later she was backstage walking up to the Jonas Brothers-two of whom seemed to avoid eye contact as she was.

"Hey." Nick said sensing the tension in the room.

"Hi." Kayla said awkwardly. They were waiting for the manager to come and tell them the details of the concert that they would be performing twice that day- one in the morning and one in the evening.

They were all saved when their manager came over and filled the silence very well. Kayla tried to concentrate and listen, but everything he said seemed to just turn into a "blah, blah, blah" before it reached her ears.

Kayla caught herself looking at Joe a couple times, but couldn't even glance at Kevin. She still couldn't get over what had happened. For several reasons it was weird-he was older than her by 3 years and he was _Kevin Jonas_-the brother everyone said acted like a dad. It was especially unexpected of Kevin.

"Everyone got that?" The words broke Kayla of her thoughts and she nodded automatically. She had only partially gotten what he said, but didn't care at the moment. They all needed to get ready for the concert, so didn't have time to talk, for which Kayla was grateful.

Kayla waited until the last minute before returning to where they Jonas Brothers and she would be-and Ashley Tisdale.

_Last performance with Ashley! _Kayla thought to herself with a smile.

"Hey, Kayla…" Joe said quietly, approaching her. "I wanted to tell you that-"

"Joe!" Nick called across the room. "Come here!" Joe closed his eyes impatiently for a moment before shaking his head and walking toward Nick.

Kayla was debating whether to approach Kevin or not. Before she had decided, she reached him, and he turned to her. She froze, knowing she wasn't ready to talk to him.

_Man, he looks good in that outfit…_Kayla was surprised at the thought. She had only thought that about Joe before, and was now confused by her thoughts. Did she like Kevin? She was positive she didn't, and wanted to apologize, but now…

"Hey…" Kevin said looking nervous, which was strange for him.

"Um…Hi." Kayla said still trying to sort out her thoughts. Another awkward silence began, and Kayla wished she could just disappear. It was weird to feel awkward with Kevin. Wasn't he the one who had cheered her up when she was disappointed about Joe?

Kevin's sigh brought Kayla back to reality. "Kayla, I want to talk to you about-" he began, but Kayla cut him off, she knew what he meant and for some reason didn't want him to say "the kiss" or "us kissing".

"I know." She said shortly, and very uncomfortable.

"Kayla! You're on!"

"Later." Kayla and Kevin said at the same time, making each other smile slightly. Kayla put on a smile-as real as she could get it-and walked onto stage as the music started.

_One! Two! Three! Four!_

_Sometimes I feel like,_

_You just don't care;_

_ Other times it seems,_

_You're always there-_

Kayla sang her song with much feeling, and couldn't help but remember that Kevin and Joe were listening. She finished with record perfection-so it seemed-and she was hopeful that the media wouldn't dwell on her previous mistake so much now that she had done so well.

Nick high-five her afterwards as he and his brothers-still unusually quiet-headed out. "Great job." He said as their hands met in the air. She smiled thankful she hadn't messed up.

After the concert, Kayla went to her bus and pulled her clothes off, and took a shower, trying to relax her nervous self. She didn't want to discuss things with Kevin. It would be so awkward and strained. She wished she had someone to talk to about the problem.

_I'm running out of Jonases. _Kayla thought with a small smile deciding not to get Nick involved. She pulled on some black skinny jeans, a slim-fitting green t-shirt with JB written in silver, put on her silver belt, and put some hoop earrings in. She brushed her long hair and left it to air dry-she hated blow drying her hair. Kayla slipped on some black boots and headed out the door.

Kayla ended up on the open stage looking out at the emptiness. The auditorium was one of the largest she had ever seen, although it was an outdoor stage there seemed to be thousands of seats-high and low.

She walked across the stage, and shivered when a breeze came through making her feel cold because of her damp hair. She knew Kevin was going to say something she didn't know if she wanted to hear. Probably he had a girlfriend back home, he was too old for her, he didn't mean to kiss her, the kiss was just friendly-one of those lines.

Suddenly feeling depressed, Kayla began to sing quietly.

_You always have a reason_

_For us to be apart_

_There's always something_

_Keeping you away_

_You never did want me_

_For more than a friend_

_Now I'm broken_

_Now I'm broken_

_Will I ever get over_

_This love I feel?_

_When you're around_

_It seems so real_

_But you never wanted me _

_For more than a friend_

_Now I'm broken_

_Now I'm-_

Kayla stopped short in the middle of her song. She had just begun to write it yesterday. She heard footsteps behind her, and didn't want anyone to hear the song before it was finished.

"New song?" Kevin's voice asked.

_Darn. _

"Yeah…" Kayla said wishing she could run away. Instead of running, she turned and sat on cement square in the middle of the stage for singers to stand on. Joe seemed to love jumping up there mid-song, and its appropriate height made it perfect to sit on.

Kevin stood a few feet away looking out at the seats in the audience. Kayla watched him for a moment. She was enjoying just looking at him-his curls bouncing in the breeze, the way he stood with his hands in his pockets…

_Snap out of it! He's about to tell me there's nothing between us, and here I am going all lovey-dovey over him. Rats. _

"Kayla," Kevin began looking down at his boots. "About the other day on your bus…"

_Here it comes. I hate this._ Kayla stared straight ahead, clinging to every word he said. Her hair blew in her face, but she ignored it, waiting to hear what Kevin had to say.

"I know-I know." Kayla said suddenly surprising Kevin and herself. "Just say it. I know what you're going to say anyways-can't we just get this over with?"

Kevin watched her as she spoke, but returned his gaze to his boots when she finished. He looked guilty, and Kayla thought maybe he was having second thoughts because he felt sorry for her.

"Just spit it out, Kevin." Kayla whispered barely loud enough for him to hear. "I can take it."

"It wouldn't work." Kevin said shortly. Kayla only nodded, ignoring the tears threatening to spill. Why did she care so much, and so easily? "I'm sorry-"

"Don't be." Kayla said shortly, choking back tears threatening to spill. She waited a moment before getting up and leaving. As she passed him she momentarily hesitated, she wanted him to hug her and tell her everything would be okay like he did before. She kept going knowing that it wouldn't happen. It would probably never happen again considering what occurred last time they hugged.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The next few days seemed like torture for Kayla. Avoiding Kevin was a habit, and Joe hadn't explained or apologized.

"Two weeks." Kayla whispered to herself right after she woke up. _Two weeks since the Ashley Tisdale problem-that led to all the other problems._

Two weeks that had seemed like much longer for Kayla. She kept busy, and didn't spend much time with the brothers. She would often stay in her bus and sing, or write songs. Her songs had been her escape for the past couple weeks, and she was happy with them because they seemed to have much more feeling. Most of the songs she wrote weren't the happiest, but were, in her mind, pretty strong.

Kayla sighed as she forced herself to get out of bed. Her hot shower helped her to feel better about the day. The concert they would be performing was her biggest one yet. She dressed in black skinny jeans, a green tank top with a blue one underneath, put on her Jonas Brother guitar pick necklace, and put in guitar earrings.

She heard a knock on her door as she pulled her boots on. That would be the boys' manager wanting her to meet him and the boys for a brief schedule run over.

Kayla took a deep breath before approaching the Jonas boys. She knew she should relax and enjoy herself, but couldn't seem to. It was explained that the big concert would be in the evening, and they would need to practice together a few times before then.

"And the photo shoot will start at…" the manager stopped and looked at his watch. "In about an hour."

"A photo shoot?" Kayla asked irritated. No one had told her about that. "Why didn't I hear about this earlier?"

He simply shrugged before walking away, obviously not thinking it a big deal.

"It's not that big a deal, Kayla." Joe said knowing this would be her first. "All you have to do is pose however the photographer says."

Kayla looked at Joe in surprise; she hadn't expected him to say anything. "Whatever." She mumbled as Kevin and Nick went off somewhere. She turned to leave, but Joe grabbed her arm. Turning around, Kayla didn't know what to expect.

"Kayla, about before…I'm sorry." Joe said softly. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

Kayla looked down for a moment thinking, she knew he was sincere. Looking up, "I forgive you, Joe." She replied with a small smile.

Joe smiled at her words, and began to pull her into a hug. Kayla resisted, remembering what happened last time she hugged a Jonas. She pulled away, but smiled at Joe, so he would know she wasn't mad at him, before walking away.

Kayla didn't enjoy the next few days for several reasons. The main reason was because of a girl named Sarah. The other reason was Joe. She didn't know what to think about either of them.

Sarah was apparently Kevin's future girlfriend. Kayla had heard many rumors about her, but hadn't met her until that day. She seemed like a great person-the kind of person any guy would want for their girlfriend. She was sweet and funny, with long dark hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Everyone was saying that Kevin Jonas was soon going to ask her to be his girlfriend-all the magazines were enjoying the story. Kayla, on the other had, was wishing she could forget the Jonas Brothers.

"Earth to Kayla." Nick said waving his hand in front of her eyes as they waited backstage.

"Sorry." Kayla said with a sigh as she looked around. "I've got a lot on my mind."

Nick nodded slightly knowing that Kayla did. Everyone knew Kayla had been out of it for awhile, and didn't seem to be quite herself, and no one knew why-except for Kayla.

She went on stage and sang her song, and put as much feeling into it as possible. The crowd was really enjoying her singing, and she was becoming increasingly popular.

After the concert, Kayla retreated to her bus to be alone. She sulked in the activity room as she looked at magazines. "Couple of the Year?" "Jonas Love!" "Predicted Couple!" these were only some of the things Kayla read about Kevin and Sarah.

"Oh, balderdash!" Kayla said the random phrase in frustration. Would the magazines stop planning the celebrity's lives already?

Kayla was broken from her thoughts as someone knocked on her bus door. "Come in." she called flatly, and mumbled "Whatever…"

"Kayla?" Joe's voice asked. "Something wrong?" he asked and sat down next to her. He glanced at the magazines scattered on the floor where she had carelessly tossed them.

"No, Joe." Kayla said sarcastically. "My life is peachy keen-couldn't you tell?"

"Man, who grumped you?" Joe said lifting his hands up as though to protect himself.

"Sorry," Kayla said with a sigh after a moment. "My life has issues."

"Kayla," Joe began hesitantly. "There's something I wanted to tell you."

Kayla groaned inwardly, afraid what he had to say would only add to her problems. "I'm sorry, but…"

She held her breath expectantly, knowing what he was about to say. Wishing her feelings weren't so complicated; Kayla looked Joe straight in the face with a small nod, encouraging him to continue.

"I don't feel anything between us." Joe whispered sounding genuinely sorry. Kayla waited for the sadness, the crushing sensation of feeling low. It didn't come though. She didn't feel anything, and was suspired to find she agreed with him.

"Same here, Joe." Kayla agreed softly, knowing it was true.

"Thank goodness." Joe said with a sigh of relief, as he ran his hand through his hair. After a moment of silence, Kayla laughed slightly not knowing why she found the situation funny. Joe joined in a after a moment, and they both stood.

"I was a afraid I was going to hurt you." Joe said seriously. "I really did have feelings for you when we were going to kiss."

"Me too." Kayla said nodding. "I don't know what happened, but I'm glad it did. It sure saved me from a lot of pain!"

Joe laughed, and grinned largely at this, and pulled Kayla into a friendly hug. She momentarily remembered her last Jonas hug, and sighed remembering that her life still wasn't peachy-keen. Kevin Jonas still caused her a pain.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The days after her conversation with Joe were better. She had some one to joke around with, and distract her from her confusing thoughts. Kayla wasn't sure if Kevin noticed the change in her actions toward Joe, but inwardly wished he would be jealous.

She was beginning to think the media was right about Kevin dating Sarah, and bitterly saw how much time they spent together. Trying to put it out of her mind, Kayla pushed herself into her music more and more, urging herself to think it didn't matter.

Time around Kevin was torture for Kayla, and she had had trouble concentrating. Joe caught on to her feelings quickly, but never said anything for which Kayla was grateful. She didn't want to talk about it. It amazed her how quickly her feelings had switched for the brothers.

Kayla woke up panting, and sweating. She had another dream about her parents, and it wasn't pleasant. No one knew about her parents being violent, but Kayla was happy it didn't matter because she was so far away.

Her thoughts quickly switched to Kevin, as they always seemed to do when she wasn't concentrating. He wasn't helping her self confidence any, and Kayla felt her self worth was lower now then ever before.

"We're having dinner tonight." Joe informed Kayla the next morning.

"We have dinner every night." Kayla said with a dry sense of humor, but she knew what he meant. Dinner with everyone- all the workers and performers. That included Kevin. Joe was warning her that she would be spending time with Kevin. "That's neat."

"Are you sure, Kayla?" Joe asked looking strangely concerned.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kayla asked with a wave of her hand. She liked to pretend that Joe didn't know about her feelings, when really he could almost read her like a book.

"Well…" Joe began, obviously not wanting to say out loud. "Kayla, we both know that-"

"I know." Kayla interrupted firmly. "I'll be fine. I'm touring with him, you know." Joe didn't reply, but nodded, and rested his arm over her shoulders protectively. Kayla shook her head, knowing that if Kevin had done this simple gesture her feelings would be immensely different. The thought almost scared her.

Dinner was pleasant enough, although Kayla couldn't seem to eat much. Either nerves, or because she wasn't hungry, it didn't matter. What did matter was that she had, coincidently been seated next to Kevin.

She spent dinner listening to Sarah, who would be leaving the tour that evening, chatter to Kevin.

"It was so nice of you to have me come on tour for the week." Sarah said sounding genuinely grateful. "I really don't get to see much of you guys anymore and really enjoyed the time!"

Kayla sat on the other side of Kevin making unnoticeable faces to herself with every word Sarah uttered. Joe cleared his throat, but she only ignored the warning. It wasn't until she felt him kick her under the table that she realized her expressions were getting a little too noticeable. Kayla stopped, and smiled a fake, innocent smile at Joe, but quickly mouthed "thanks". Good things Joe was there to support her.

An hour later, Kayla walked out to the bus parking lot with Sarah and Kevin. It seemed the most polite thing to do since Sarah was holding a conversation with her, and invited her to walk with them to the buses where she would be picked up.

As they had left the restaurant, Kayla had sent pleading looks to Joe to accompany them, but he only looked pityingly at her as his father was having a deep discussion with him.

That's how she had ended up alone in a parking lot with only Sarah and Kevin. Soon to be only Kevin. It was obvious that Kevin was attracted to Sarah, as he hugged her goodbye and told her to keep in close touch.

Sarah was picked up, and Kayla was ready to run back to the others now that she was alone with Kevin. Silence fell, and they stood. The others were supposed to be close behind, and they would all discuss tomorrow's plans briefly before saying goodnight.

"What do you think of Sarah?" Kevin asked, trying to make conversation.

Kayla rolled her eyes in the dark, and wondered if he couldn't get his mind off her. "I don't know."

"She's pretty nice…" Kevin answered his own question quietly. "You seemed to get along with her pretty well."

"I guess." Kayla answered shortly, wondering where the others were. They were supposed to be leaving only minutes after she, Sarah and Kevin had.

"Don't you have any opinion of her?" Kevin asked sounding slightly annoyed.

"I don't know." Kayla said with a slight smile at her repetition.

"If you don't want to talk, you could just say so." Kevin said shortly.

"I don't mind talking." Kayla said turning to face him. She could just barely see his face in the dark.

"You don't seem capable of carrying on a conversation right now." Kevin replied not looking at Kayla.

"Well, when someone talks about the same person over and over it gets old." Kayla said slightly irritated.

"I don't talk about the same person over and over." Kevin said defensively. He seemed out of character that evening, and Kayla wondered if she had offended him.

"Whatever." She used what seemed to be her favorite word.

"Do you like fighting with people?" Kevin asked suddenly.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because that's what it seems like." He replied irritated.

"Well you're wrong." Kayla said, taking her turn at defense. "You're the one who started the dumb conversation!"

"At least I attempt politeness." Kevin retorted.

"I do too!" Kayla replied heatedly.

"If you say so." Kevin replied shortly.

"What are you implying?" Kayla asked heatedly. The argument was pointless, but it still angered her for some reason. Kevin only shrugged. "If I'm so annoying to be around, why don't you just go back to the restaurant?"

"Hey, _I _was trying to make conversation." Kevin said. "Don't get mad at me."

"Too late." Kayla mumbled to herself as she crossed her arms as they both fell silent. _Where on earth are they? _

"What's taking them so long?" Kevin asked impatiently.

"Like I should know." Kayla said sarcastically.

"I asked Sarah out." Kevin said suddenly, and Kayla nearly choked. Why was he telling her this?

"The date should be interesting considering she lives miles away and you're traveling." Kayla said curtly. Where was Joe?

"I _meant_ she's my girlfriend." Kevin pointed out the obvious.

"Well, good for you." Kayla said. "Or her. Whatever."

"Do you have something against her?" Kevin asked suddenly sounding angry.

"I don't know." Kayla said.

"Well you sure act like it." He replied impatiently.

"That doesn't mean I do." Kayla pointed out snobbishly. Kevin shook his head as silence fell again.

"So how do you like touring?" Kevin asked, once again trying to start a conversation.

"It's okay." Kayla replied, and accidentally added what she was thinking. "I get tired of the company sometimes though."

"I don't know why your insulting me, but could you stop?!" Kevin almost yelled. She had never seen him mad, and for a moment thought he was quite threatening.

"Sorry." Kayla replied shortly, again wondering where everyone was.

"Are you?" Kevin shot back instantly.

"I mean what I say, Kevin." Kayla replied after a moment.

"So, you're sorry?" Kevin asked.

"Didn't I just answer that stupid question?" Kayla asked trying not to yell. "How many times are you gonna ask me?"

"You don't sound sorry." Kevin said difficultly. Kayla turned to face him completely. He was making her really mad, and she didn't know if he was doing it on purpose.

"Let's stop arguing now." Kayla said gritting her teeth.

"Fine with me." Kevin said quietly.

"It better be. I don't know why you're arguing anyways. You are an adult-shouldn't you know better?"

"You're almost an adult-shouldn't you?" Kevin asked suddenly. Kayla was trying to think of a comeback when Kevin suddenly leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

All arguing forgotten, Kayla returned the kiss quite willingly, and wrapped her arms around his neck. This is what she had wanted for a long time, and finally it was happening-at the most unexpected moment.

_Where did that come from?_ Kayla asked herself vaguely, although she really didn't care._ I though this only happened in movies. _Kevin abruptly pulled away in surprise, as though he had no control over his actions, and was surprised at himself.

"I shouldn't have done that." He said quietly as he backed away from Kayla a bit. She only looked at the ground, knowing it had been too good to be true. "You're too young and what about Sarah?"

Kayla didn't reply, but felt angry. _Now_ he considered her young, when only moment ago he was putting her on almost the same level as him? _Now_ he remembered Sarah? Did he have a memory loss for that split second before kissing her?

Kayla did the only thing she felt like at the moment. She ran to her bus, and didn't return.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Kayla reached her bus, and sank to the ground crying. Things had only gotten worse now, and she couldn't help but let her self-worth sink farther. As she sat on the floor hugging her knees, her hair curtained around her face.

"Kayla!" Joe called as he burst into the bus sounding worried.

"Go away." Kayla demanded loudly as she continued crying. She felt she didn't deserve friends, or comfort, and that was exactly what Joe provided.

"Are you okay?" Joe asked softly, sitting down next to her. "What happened?" She felt better as he pulled her towards him in a partial hug. At least _someone_ cared.

She didn't answer his question, or even try. She only leaned on him, crying and wishing her pain would end. Knowing Joe was worried helped her to calm down, and she was grateful that he cared for her-even if no one else did. All Joe could do for the moment was hold her and tell her it was okay-even though they both knew it wasn't.

"You want to tell me about it?" Joe whispered into her hair once her crying had slowed. Taking deep breath, Kayla explained the whole thing, blushing when she got to the actual kiss, and leaving out how much she enjoyed it.

"I'm sorry." Joe said tightening his partial hug a little. "He's just confused right now, I think.

"You're defending him." Kayla stated.

"He _is _my brother." Joe said with a small smile.

"But still," Kayla explained. "This is _his _fault."

"Hey, at least I'm here with you not with him." Joe replied.

"That's where Nick is, isn't it?" Kayla realized. She knew Nick cared a lot too, and was probably letting Kevin vent on him.

"Yeah." Joe nodded and spoke kindly. "Did it ever occur to you that Kevin is hurting and confused too?"

"He's the one keeping us apart." Kayla pointed out. She didn't know why _he _was hurting so much. "His pain is his own fault. He deserves it."

Joe remained silent at the comment, thinking before replying. "You don't mean that."

"Of course not." Kayla sighed, and snuggled closer to Joe. "In that one moment…all worry and pain was gone." She suddenly added, not knowing why she was telling Joe.

"Who knew kissing could be so beneficial?" Joe said with a laugh. Kayla blushed, thinking about how she had almost kissed Joe. What would it have been like? The same as Kevin or different?

"Does kissing feel different depending on who you kiss?" Kayla asked, unable to keep her question silent.

"I don't know." Joe said sounding embarrassed.

"Well, you've kissed more than one girl, right?" Kayla asked playfully. "Is it different each person?"

"Why?" Joe asked avoiding the question. "Is there someone else you want to kiss?" Kayla blushed at this, and was confused for a moment. Was she actually thinking about kissing Joe?

"I'm so confused right now, I wouldn't know." Kayla said with a sigh.

"I think that's your sign to go to bed." Joe said softly, and Kayla agreed as he helped her up off of the ground. They stood facing each other and exchanged good nights.

"Joe?" Kayla asked as he was about to leave the dark bus. "Are you sure you have no more than friendly feelings toward me?"

"Why would you ask?" Joe asked sounding suddenly nervous, and Kayla shrugged. "Yes. Please tell me your answer is the same."

"I think it is." Kayla replied.

"Don't tell me you were thinking about kissing me when you asked that question about it feeling different." Joe said sounding amused.

"I was, but as tired as I am…I wouldn't be surprised to hear myself say I want to kiss Nick." Kayla said with a laugh at the thought.

"Good night." Joe said and exited.

"Tell Nick I said good night." Kayla called. After Joe nodded and left, she whispered. "Good night, Kevin."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A week later, everything was back to normal. Or as normal as it had been before Kevin and Kayla's most recent kiss. They didn't talk to each other much, but become semi friendly toward one another. Keeping conversations short and insignificant became a habit, and Kayla was frustrated with her feelings.

"Ready for the concert?" Nick asked Kayla as they stood backstage waiting for the performance to start.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Kayla's usual response came. Only moments later, she was called on stage to open the night.

Kayla was waiting back stage for the boys to be done, and they finally arrived looking very sweaty as usual.

"Hug!" Joe called spreading his arms out, threatening to hug Kayla in all his sweatiness.

"Don't you dare touch me." Kayla said with a laugh, and a few backward steps. It was pouring down rain outside and she knew that if another concert wasn't going to be held that evening, she would be outside cooling off.

"Kevin!" a familiar voice called, startling Kayla before making her feel sick. Sarah walked briskly toward Kevin and they hugged with smiles. Joe cast a wary glance in Kayla's direction, but she only smiled weakly at him before turning her gaze elsewhere. Only a few more moments of Sarah's sickening chatter, and Kayla left to go to her bus.

She heard the bus door open and close after her, and turned to see Joe. "Following me again, I see." She said with a small smile.

"You okay?" he asked simply standing where he was.

"I am unless someone else asks me that again. Then I might scream." Kayla stated, realizing Joe had been unusually serious lately.

"I just thought since Sarah…" Joe began.

"I know." Kayla said running a hand through her long, soft hair. "I'll live. I have so far."

Joe left a moment later, knowing Kayla wanted to be alone. She didn't stay in her bus too much longer though, but returned to the building trying to ignore Sarah and Kevin holding hands.

The after noon passed slowly, but they all stayed in the building, grateful for a change from the bus. The concert was performed, and Sarah loved being backstage. By the time she left, Kayla felt ready to pull all her hair out, but only sighed with relief.

She exited the building, and looked at the dark sky. The rain was pouring, and she enjoyed the cold raindrops as they soaked her hair and clothes. They would be staying in a hotel for the night, and she looked forward to a real bed to sleep in.

"Here are our rooms." Nick said pointing to the two hotel doors next to each other. Although they could afford a really fancy hotel, they had all agreed to stay at a regular hotel in small rooms. The rooms looked just like the average hotel room with two queen sized beds and one bathroom.

"Key, please." Kayla requested taking the card from Nick's hand, and saying goodbye.

"Dinner in our room!" Joe announced just before Kayla shut her hotel room door. "In half an hour!"

"Fine by me." Kayla said shortly and closed her door. After taking a shower, and changing into dry clothes, she was knocking on the Jonas hotel door. She heard a click and the door opened, revealing Kevin.

"Hey." Kayla said, somewhat unfriendly as she entered and Kevin relocked the door. Finding the room Joe-less and Nick-less, she turned to Kevin for an explanation.

"Getting the pizza." He explained shortly. Kayla tried to calm her racing heart, and took a step away after realizing how close she was standing to Kevin. Her leg hit the edge of one of the beds, though.

"Maybe I can go wait in my room until they get back." Kayla suggested, highly uncomfortable.

"They should be back any minute." Kevin replied looking somewhat uncomfortable also.

"Oh." Was all she could manage to say in response. "How's Sarah?" she asked the painful question, and thought she saw a brief look of guilt on Kevin's face.

"Fine." He replied shortly. Was it just her or was he standing a little closer than necessary?

"About the other night…" Kevin began.

"Its fine, Kevin." Kayla said blushing like crazy. "I'd rather we just didn't talk about it."

"Well, I'm sorry." Kevin finished lamely and looked away. Kayla wondered why they were both standing and not moving away from each other. She looked all around the room-anywhere but at Kevin, and sat on the edge of the bed.

"So…" Kayla said, trying to fill the silence. This one word brought Kevin's gaze back to her face, and she couldn't help but admire his features. His curly hair was her favorite, she decided, but she had to fight not to look at his lips. "So…" She repeated herself, helpless at what to talk about.

Just after she had closed her mouth, Kevin had landed his face right on hers for their third unexpected kiss. Kayla leaned back for moment, and pulled away, confusion written plainly on her face.

"Not again, Kevin." Kayla said, fighting tears. "Don't hurt me again." Those simple words, made Kevin reach for her, but she back up on the bed still afraid.

"Trust me." Kevin whispered and she lay down on the bed and he placed his body next to hers and kissed her passionately. It went on for what seemed to Kayla forever, before he pulled away slightly.

"I love you." Kevin said softly as though he had just realized.

"Don't leave me for Sarah again, Kevin." Kayla begged grabbing onto his shirt as he began to sit up from his position next her. "Please."

"I broke up with her." Kevin stated, looking surprised at what he had done, and he placed each arm on either side of Kayla's head on the bed. Leaving his lower body lying beside her, Kevin pushed his lips against hers again, and Kayla realized she didn't care if kissing some one else felt different. All she needed was Kevin.

"I love you." Kayla replied the moment Kevin pulled away for a breath. They stared into each others eyes for a second, and Kayla wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down, closer to her face.

As Kevin slipped his arms under Kayla's body to wrap around her waist their lips met again, and this time they kept kissing- even when they heard Joe and Nick pounding on the door to be let in. Joe and Nick eventually gave up, and Kayla knew she was happier than ever before.

Her lips against his, his against hers. The man that was three years older on top of her, their make out session lasted for the happiest minutes of Kayla's life.


	14. Chapter 14

I have gotten a new account! I am now **crazinessgirl3**. Check out my two new short stories and review!! Thanks everyone!!


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